Other things people forget to mention
Previously I have had a moan about all the things people fail to mention when you are pregnant. Despite still agreeing with SOME of those points I have now reached a point in motherhood where I am around other new mums or pregnant ladies and find myself (increasingly) omitting various things from our conversations. (sorry!)
With progression up the motherhood ladder you realise that
a) there are some things which you do not want to be the one to tell a glowing expectant mum or a stressed new mummy.
b) You don't want to be THAT person and sound like a know it all even if you are only trying to help!
c) some things people just need to find out on their own.
d) every baby and every situation is different!
That being said I do wish more people talked about certain things! Sometimes it feels as though you hear and read non stop things about pregnancy and birth and the first few weeks post baby and then you are thrown out into the wilderness. The information, at least the accurate kind, becomes harder to find, there is less certainty in what you read and some things that you literally only discover are "normal" when somebody happens to mention that they have been experiencing it too!
Now I know we cant expect every tiny thing to be documented and readily available for us to research however there are some things that seem to be so common yet not written anywhere or mentioned by health care professionals. (Again could be due to the whole everyone is different business but this is where having a mum circle comes in handy.)
For instance, I have recently discovered that breastfeeding can affect women terribly! It is fairly common for those mental hormones which we experience during pregnancy and the first few weeks after birth to linger due to breastfeeding! Maybe its just me but nobody told me this and I have not read it officially anywhere. I simply found out (9months postpartum) from other mummies. The whole time you are breastfeeding your hormones are wild, you can experience PMS style mood swings and other eratic behaviour. I can only assume that health care professionals keep this hush hush so as not to put women off breast feeding!
Fun fact I have also recently become aware of mummy brain. I was previously familiar with Baby brain which impacted me in a huge way (think cereal being poured into cups and milk onto cupless worktops!) But heres a funny thing! For many, if not all and you just hide it well, particularly those of us without babies who sleep peacefully through the night the baby brain turns into mummy brain which has turned my brain from a fluffy cloud like space full of babygros and cute things with a few colander style holes into a broken sieve in fact there is so little of the information retaining pert of my brain left that it closer resembles just the metal rim of the sieve void of the actual sieving part. More like a drainpipe...or a very large hole with no bottom for information to even fester in. (I imagine this can only get worse as more items are forced to be stored inside my head such as PE KITS and school trip slips.)
I have also, rather unfortunately, discovered that not all babies "sleep through the night" my dear child instead chooses to wake frequently to bounce, nuzzle and generally suckle and fuss. We are blessed with a baby who goes down with little fuss for a solid 2-4 hours from around 7.30 and after that Its pretty much a case of take whatever you can get! (Admittedly sometimes this means sleeping with a baby essentially hanging off your nipple but hey at least I got some sleep.) You should also note, to make the mummies and daddies of non sleepers feel better, That often when a parent says their baby sleeps through the night they actually dont go to bed until 11.30 at night and often wake at 5. Ill take whatever consolations I can.
Oh also EVERYONE will ask you if your child is good/sleeps just say yes and walk away its far easier.
I have also learnt that Some babies are much harder work than others which is fine and to be expected however it takes its toll in more ways than one. I had great aspirations for exercise and healthy eating to get back into shape after having baby. Alas this has fallen by the wayside, aside from walking EVERYWHERE Oscar has allowed me to almost complete the warm up of my exercise dvd exactly once and half the time I barely have time to inhale whatever I can grab for lunch. To add insult to injury all women carry babies differently and all women spring back into shape differently. I carried a ridiculously huge bump which has failed to deflate quite as much as I would have hoped leaving me with a significantly still slightly pregnant look about the general area...Oh well!
So be aware that you will continuously learn that people haven't told you things, that you and your baby don't comply to the "norm" that your body hasn't sprung back quite the way that gorgeous yummy mummy's body has or that your baby doesn't favour nightime sleeping. Its a journey with so much to learn and discover along the way and each time you experience something new its like a right of passage propelling you further into parenthood.
Love it!
With progression up the motherhood ladder you realise that
a) there are some things which you do not want to be the one to tell a glowing expectant mum or a stressed new mummy.
b) You don't want to be THAT person and sound like a know it all even if you are only trying to help!
c) some things people just need to find out on their own.
d) every baby and every situation is different!
That being said I do wish more people talked about certain things! Sometimes it feels as though you hear and read non stop things about pregnancy and birth and the first few weeks post baby and then you are thrown out into the wilderness. The information, at least the accurate kind, becomes harder to find, there is less certainty in what you read and some things that you literally only discover are "normal" when somebody happens to mention that they have been experiencing it too!
Now I know we cant expect every tiny thing to be documented and readily available for us to research however there are some things that seem to be so common yet not written anywhere or mentioned by health care professionals. (Again could be due to the whole everyone is different business but this is where having a mum circle comes in handy.)
For instance, I have recently discovered that breastfeeding can affect women terribly! It is fairly common for those mental hormones which we experience during pregnancy and the first few weeks after birth to linger due to breastfeeding! Maybe its just me but nobody told me this and I have not read it officially anywhere. I simply found out (9months postpartum) from other mummies. The whole time you are breastfeeding your hormones are wild, you can experience PMS style mood swings and other eratic behaviour. I can only assume that health care professionals keep this hush hush so as not to put women off breast feeding!
Fun fact I have also recently become aware of mummy brain. I was previously familiar with Baby brain which impacted me in a huge way (think cereal being poured into cups and milk onto cupless worktops!) But heres a funny thing! For many, if not all and you just hide it well, particularly those of us without babies who sleep peacefully through the night the baby brain turns into mummy brain which has turned my brain from a fluffy cloud like space full of babygros and cute things with a few colander style holes into a broken sieve in fact there is so little of the information retaining pert of my brain left that it closer resembles just the metal rim of the sieve void of the actual sieving part. More like a drainpipe...or a very large hole with no bottom for information to even fester in. (I imagine this can only get worse as more items are forced to be stored inside my head such as PE KITS and school trip slips.)
I have also, rather unfortunately, discovered that not all babies "sleep through the night" my dear child instead chooses to wake frequently to bounce, nuzzle and generally suckle and fuss. We are blessed with a baby who goes down with little fuss for a solid 2-4 hours from around 7.30 and after that Its pretty much a case of take whatever you can get! (Admittedly sometimes this means sleeping with a baby essentially hanging off your nipple but hey at least I got some sleep.) You should also note, to make the mummies and daddies of non sleepers feel better, That often when a parent says their baby sleeps through the night they actually dont go to bed until 11.30 at night and often wake at 5. Ill take whatever consolations I can.
Oh also EVERYONE will ask you if your child is good/sleeps just say yes and walk away its far easier.
I have also learnt that Some babies are much harder work than others which is fine and to be expected however it takes its toll in more ways than one. I had great aspirations for exercise and healthy eating to get back into shape after having baby. Alas this has fallen by the wayside, aside from walking EVERYWHERE Oscar has allowed me to almost complete the warm up of my exercise dvd exactly once and half the time I barely have time to inhale whatever I can grab for lunch. To add insult to injury all women carry babies differently and all women spring back into shape differently. I carried a ridiculously huge bump which has failed to deflate quite as much as I would have hoped leaving me with a significantly still slightly pregnant look about the general area...Oh well!
So be aware that you will continuously learn that people haven't told you things, that you and your baby don't comply to the "norm" that your body hasn't sprung back quite the way that gorgeous yummy mummy's body has or that your baby doesn't favour nightime sleeping. Its a journey with so much to learn and discover along the way and each time you experience something new its like a right of passage propelling you further into parenthood.
Love it!
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