It goes so fast and other sayings.

7 and a half months postpartum.
OH MY GOD I'M A MUM AND I HAVE A 7 MONTH OLD!
Something astounding has happened.  I cannot pin point exactly when it happened but I know that it has. There has been a shift in the world and it's as if a curtain has been lifted, all of a sudden it feels like I have (finally) started to adjust into my new role as mummy. It's strange and I can't describe it particularly well but I feel different.
It's almost as if I have been watching my life for the past 7 months and now I am actually in it rather than floating above it. As I write that those little words 'post natal depression' pop up and believe me I have heard them SO much. Whilst I think it's good health care professionals are a bit more on the ball about it, people asking you every chance they get if 'you are feeling alright in yourself' does make you a tad paranoid that maybe you arent.
So having spent the last few months wondering if I did 'feel alright in myself' I gave come to the conclusion that no I did not feel alright in myself. Of course I didn't!  Hello! I have grown a tiny person inside me and then pushed him out of me and THEN fed him with milk which my body made...
Whilst in my opinion I was not suffering from depression as such I do think I gave spent the last few months in some kind of bizarre fuzz. I have been in shock and not only learning g to look after my tiny human but also learning about the new me (still working on this) and my new role in life!
It is here that the first of the sayings pops up: apparantly it takes 18 months to fully get used to having a baby. I can 100% believe that EVERYTHING is completely different and it's quite possibly the steamiest (and best) thing to gave happened to me.

This new found perspective on life has brought a great many pleasures and has allowed me time to breathe and reflect. We have fallen into some sort of routine and everyday is a wonderful, exciting new challenge. However I can't help but feel a little sad, I feel as though just as we are growing used to one another and  just as I am beginning to feel confident and enjoy being mummy to my gorgeous clever boy, I am going to have to leave him to go to work! Noo give me another 9 months please!
It is like some monster lurking in the shadows, the knowledge that I will soon be leaving my baby for work and it is now that all those sayings people say when you first go on mat leave really come into light.
Everyone tells you to cherish it because it goes so quickly. My goodness it does! Wgen I think that Oscar has been around for over half a year it's scary! So listen when people tell you it goes fast!

People always say enjoy it because they won't be this small for long. Wow they are right there too! Sadly when you are in the thick of newborn madness and trying to get your head around reflux abd nap times and breast feeding abd washing wgen you gave had zero sleep it us somewhat of a challenge to enjoy it but Try! I wish I had been less worried or stress about things and just enjoyed lazy days with my tiny baby because even at 7 1/2 months ge is so big and getting more independent everyday, yes he still needs me but just a teeny bit less each day.

So basically hindsight is a bitch and you will probably always have something you look back on and wish you had done differently but for me these two are the most important. Your babies need you so let them need you and enjoy it don't think to far into the future just try to be present in the now with your tiny human.

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